Why Enrich Your Marriage?

By John Pottkotter

When I was first approached about writing on this subject, my first reaction was, “Why not?” It was just a “knee-jerk” reaction but got the thought process started.

When one thinks of marriage, it is astounding to imagine two people, growing up apart from each other, and, in the marriage bond, committing to each other for the rest of their lives, joining two separate life forces into one cohesive, loving and sharing unit. Without a total commitment and constant work on the marriage “contract”, this union of man and wife is destined for failure.

The constant forces of today’s world against marriage and subsequent family shows no sign of abatement. I believe we are at a crucial juncture with this constant assault. Divorce and dissolution are commonplace, and the “me and I first” social norms are taking us away from our core beliefs and practices. It is my unswerving belief that, if as a nation, we hope to survive and prosper, we have to hearken back to the family first as the foundation of our nation. For if the marriage and family are strong, so goes the community, and then the nation.

Enriching the marriage from the outset will strengthen the husband and wife first, then the examples of love and sacrifice of self, will in turn, show the children about how the love of the husband and wife grows in the raising of the children.

Strengthening the marriage also prepares the couple for the eventual “empty nesting” period. My wife Susan and I are starting this in the fall with our youngest daughter going to college and our oldest daughter already living in Texas. We have fallen into the trap of wrapping our entire lives around our children, and not saving time for “just the two of us.” When we attended our Marriage Encounter, we dialogued about this, that we feared we were turning into strangers, with no common ground if not with our children. We committed to time alone with each other, and to pursue common interests, without letting children or other work, etc. forces keep us apart. I often wondered how couples split up after 25-30 years, and I believe that our problem is commonplace.

So it is our prayer for all of you, to do the best you can, keep the couple’s “fires” burning, and realize that, when it comes right down to it, it will be up to just the two of you to make it work and always remember, “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.”

John and Susan Pottkotter